To view the Summary of A Few Good Men, click here.
To view the Implications of A Few Good Men, click here.
Purpose
This study seeks to answer the following questions:
What inspires/helps men to provide authentic life-affirming support to their wife/girlfriend when faced with an unexpected pregnancy? What is it about his background, upbringing, experience that inspires him to speak up when facing an unexpected pregnancy?
Why do men say: “I’ll support you either way” when facing an unexpected pregnancy? Why do men not speak up to protect their unborn children during an unexpected pregnancy?
How do men respond to the idea of “providing and protecting for their family”? Does it include unborn children in the womb? Does it include procuring an abortion as a way to protect the woman? Do men feel like they can protect the baby and the mother?
What qualities represent the ideal masculine role model or role model of positive masculinity, especially related to being a provider and protector of his family?
What is the man’s perception of his influence on the woman’s decision when facing an unexpected pregnancy/abortion decision?
How do men respond to not having a “say” when it comes to an abortion/life decision? How do they respond to “my body, my choice”?
What is the dialogue like between men and women facing an unexpected pregnancy? How does communication affect the decision about ‘next step?’
Methods
Emotional Research interview techniques, including one-on-one, 1.5-2-hour interviews using relaxation, visualization and repetition, were used with a group of 50 male participants between the ages of 18-45 years old in Dallas, Denver, Orlando, Phoenix and St. Louis. Participants completed an in-depth screener to ensure they met criteria to be classified as “moderate middle” in their attitudes toward abortion. Quotas were used to ensure respondents varied in age, race, marital status, living situation (alone/with roommate, with girlfriend, with wife/family, with parents), parental status (number of children), and religious affiliation (or none). Participants were selected to fall into three separate segments: (1) Men who had faced an unexpected pregnancy and told their girlfriend/wife: “I’ll support you, whatever you choose” (20 men), (2) Men who had faced an unexpected pregnancy and took a stronger position: “I want you to have an abortion” or “I want you to have the child” (16 men), (3) Men who had not previously faced an unexpected pregnancy/abortion (14 men).
Conclusion
When a man finds himself in an unexpected pregnancy situation, he most commonly experiences three distinct emotions (sometimes a mix of two or even all three): fear, shock and excitement/happiness. The unexpected pregnancy often spurs a vital conversation between the man and woman and provides the opportunity for the man to prepare, grow up and become more responsible. Most men talk about their (or their partner’s) initial lack of readiness when finding out about an unexpected pregnancy. Reasons for not being ready to have a baby include financial insecurity, life stage (school, career), young age, immaturity, selfishness, or inability to provide a good environment for the child.
The relationship health between a man and woman is an important factor in the man’s involvement with and desire to carry through with an unexpected pregnancy. Men who are not committed/have low trust in their girlfriend/partner, or who are in a short-term relationship, feel less strongly about keeping the baby and more strongly consider abortion. Communication is important in the relationship, especially as it relates to discussing an unexpected pregnancy.
Men suggest that the unexpected pregnancy (and therefore the possibility of fatherhood or abortion) is the risk they took when engaging in a sexual relationship with a woman. This is quite different from what we’ve learned in past studies about how women view unexpected pregnancy and abortion. Women often experience shame when facing an unexpected pregnancy and seek abortion to hide/“fix” what they consider to be the biggest mistake: the unexpected pregnancy (not the sexual relationship).
Significantly, men feel like abortion is primarily a woman’s decision, because she is carrying the child and it is her body. They say it is not their “right” to make the final decision but, at the same time, they should have some “say”. The most common feeling is that ideally, the man and the woman make the decision or have a conversation together.
A common response from a man to a woman in an unexpected pregnancy situation is “I’ll support you, whatever you choose”. Some believe this is the most supportive thing to say, even if they recognize that the burden of the decision-making then falls on the woman. Others believe this phrase is simply a way to avoid responsibility and suggest that a direct approach is a more honest way of approaching the conversation, a more effective way of convincing the woman of their preference, and/or a better way of supporting the woman in the decision-making process.
Men generally acknowledge the preborn child as a life but perceptions vary as to what this means. Some view this life as a human being who should not be haphazardly discarded. They exhibit sadness, regret, and anger at the reality of abortion. Men acknowledge the creation of life once they see the positive pregnancy test but they often believe that it is ok to end this human life prior to when his or her heart begins to beat. Others see the preborn child as a “potential” life rather than an already existing one.
Men perceive fatherhood as a meaningful experience/role. Even those who have participated in abortions desire to have kids someday. Also, their experiences of father figures influence how they perceive their own roles as fathers. Men with absent fathers or no father figure at all express a desire to parent their children opposite to the model they were given. They feel strongly that there is an inherent duty and responsibility for the man to provide for and protect his family. Men emphasize the impact of being present in the role of a provider/protector which doesn’t just mean being involved but also being emotionally available and communicative. Some felt like providing/protecting is intuitive to men in particular. Others did not agree, often having experiences with women who filled the provider/protector role.
Finally, men describe the ideal masculine role model as someone who is present (physically and emotionally), responsible (toward family, duties), and of good character (trustworthy, respected, moral, discerning). Many also see the ideal male role model as someone who protects/offers safety and teaches life skills. Men also negatively mentioned that society promotes a false stereotype of masculinity, including men who are “macho” and emotionally closed off or distant.