Implications for Abortion Healing Ministries
Why do most women who have had abortions, especially those who acknowledge experiencing pain and regret, not seek healing through abortion healing ministries?
- They don’t know they exist. More data on this is needed but interviewees’ responses about an ideal healing center and their surprise at being shown a list of abortion healing resources at the end of their interviews demonstrate this is true. It seems that while abortion healing ministries have proliferated around the country, and those in the pro-life movement are well-aware of their existence, the majority of women who’ve had abortions do not know they exist. This is tragic. However, it also points to an achievable solution: more, different, new, creative marketing and messaging strategies must be implemented (see specific recommendations below).
- Their defense mechanisms are too strong. In general, women who hold strongly to justification, rationalization, and minimization will be hard to reach because they simply do not think they need to heal from their abortions. The good news is that the fourth defense mechanism, compartmentalization, was the most prevalent in this particular study. Why is this good news? Women who employ compartmentalization acknowledge feelings of regret, guilt, grief, sadness, trauma, or pain but they repress, bury, or “lock away” these emotional responses. Therefore, if abortion healing ministries were to use different messages that highlight the emotional responses so many women are struggling to keep buried (oftentimes unsuccessfully) they will tap into something that resonates very deeply with these women and potentially be more successful in getting them involved in an abortion healing ministry or program.
- They have lost hope and they do not believe that healing is possible. Many women have suffered from the pain associated with their abortion for years or even decades. They have grown accustomed to recurring bouts of sadness, grief, and guilt. They state that the pain will likely never go away and they have accepted this is the way their lives must be. Most acknowledge they cannot change the past so they try not to dwell on it. Self-accusation and the shame of what others might think cause isolation, loneliness, and loss of hope. Marketing and messaging for abortion healing ministries, then, should reference these deep-seated, ingrained beliefs and behaviors. Many women in need of healing after abortion will be surprised to hear a message that so accurately reflects their long-standing and seemingly personal, unique, isolated experience. Women who have lost hope may need to hear these messages many times before they will be convinced that healing really is possible.
- They already sought help from a talk therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist. Many women have sought help for post-abortion pain or other mental or emotional problems (which are often associated with the abortion whether the woman admits this or not). Some women have found talking with these professionals to be beneficial and many others have not. Oftentimes these professionals are not well-trained in how to guide people through trauma specific to abortion or they might minimize and even fail to treat abortion-related trauma due to their own pro-abortion viewpoint or that of the American Psychological Association. Thus, it is important that abortion healing ministries address those who might have already tried to find healing from abortion but have been unsuccessful.
Specific Recommendations:
- First, because of the reasons above, women are not generally seeking or searching for abortion healing ministry programs or centers. Thus, abortion healing ministries must be proactive in marketing to women and men who have had abortions. Create ad strategies and campaigns that purposefully reach out into every segment of society in a number of ways.
Examples include: Paid programmatic (or targeted) advertising and digital marketing. Testing different digital locations for ad placement will likely be necessary. The ad campaign may require multiple ads that connect with different audiences. The campaign, ideally, will also help women considering abortion reject it, due to the ad campaign’s cognitive dissonance-creating aspect of causing people to wonder why something considered “safe” would require healing.
- People suffering from abortion trauma may need to hear these messages or ads many, many times before they respond. It is important to run a sustained campaign.
Examples include: Running a digital marketing campaign for at least 6 months prior to switching digital locations to compare results. The process of running a campaign, switching locations, comparing results in multiple locations and then rerunning or expanding a campaign in a particular location will likely be conducted/measured in years rather than weeks or months.
- In marketing and messaging, use words, phrases, and ideas, developed from the emotional responses of women in this study which can be found throughout this document and Vitae’s other No Regrets? (2023) abortion healing materials.
Examples include: sadness, guilt (the two most powerful words)…loneliness, grief, disappointment, regret, impossible to forget/stays with you forever/still hurts after__years, counseling/healing, worried about judgment, worried about missed opportunity to be a mom, something being taken away from her, trauma from abortion, and many words indicating compartmentalization including: didn’t/don’t/can’t talk to anyone about it, never mentioned it, kept it to myself, you don’t tell people, nobody knows, don’t share, kept it secret, compartmentalize it, hide it, bury it, bottle it up, box it up, lock it away, put up walls, push aside, stuff it down, keep it in, push it out, block it out, shut it out
- Reach out to those who might have already tried (unsuccessfully) to heal from abortion through local mental health professionals. Run marketing campaigns specifically targeting these people who have already expressed a desire and willingness to seek healing.
Examples include: Advertising which addresses their previous unsuccessful counseling experience as an entry point. Affirm their attempt/desire/need to seek healing and point out that many counselors, talk therapists, psychologists do not have specific training to help those suffering from the psychological/emotional pain of a past abortion. Make them curious to find out about places that are specifically trained to help them.
- Outline what the abortion healing program looks like in marketing materials and ads. The programs that great abortion healing ministries offer are appealing to women but most of them have not heard a detailed, well-designed description.
Examples include: The first step is to be very specific about explaining what is offered through the abortion healing program including specific experiences (what a typical day looks like), what specific outcomes are expected (goals) and specific or actual success stories. An important (and for many women, surprising) aspect is that many of these programs are free. In the study, women respond positively to the following aspects, which can be highlighted if they, indeed, are offered at a particular abortion healing ministry: Women overwhelmingly identify group counseling as a priority. Respondents desire to be in the presence of others (attendees) who have also experienced an abortion. Many say it would be best if the facilitator/support person had also experienced and healed from an abortion. Women consistently mention the following words/ideas when describing their ideal abortion healing center/program: moving forward, trying to be positive and finding life on the other side of pain, nonjudgmental, comfortable. Overall, there is a significant desire for some type of religious element. Many say that religious involvement depends upon the individual attendee’s choice. Similarly, many say that a spiritual aspect should be included but not geared toward one religion. They identify the following activities as being potentially beneficial: journaling/writing, eating, praying/meditating, art activities, and team building/building relationships with others.
- Vastly increase the use of women (and men) who have successfully gone through an abortion healing program who would be willing and able (sufficiently healed) to reach out both personally and through ads to other women (and men) to invite them to an abortion healing program. These are the “admired women/men”, spokesmen and women and guides, who are so essential to lowering the defenses, addressing the fears, and calling out the isolation which prevent people from seeking healing.
*A note of caution: The italicized words above are important as it is absolutely vital that volunteers are not pressured to share their stories before they are ready. The opportunity to share their journey is an additional way for them to experience healing but it is important to continue to help/counsel them through this secondary stage of healing. Even when they think they may be ready to share their story publicly, it is necessary to implement steps to verify that they are emotionally ready to do so. Another aspect of preparing them to share their story publicly is allowing them the opportunity to share it directly with people close to them who may not yet know.
Examples include: Investing (research, time, money) in building a system of first identifying, and then training, potential advocates/promoters of the abortion healing ministry to others in need. Because of their profound experiences of healing, they would be the best “salesmen/saleswomen” to reach out, personally/directly to those who otherwise are not looking, don’t think they need, or wouldn’t otherwise consider, registering for an abortion healing program.
- Either by modifying or expanding current church women’s groups, women can encounter environments safer and more conducive to discussing difficult, personal situations, including a past abortion. These groups should be open to all and not solely focused on biblical or theological issues. These groups/topics/opportunities should present “shallow entry points” for women. Group coordinators would be trained to connect those in need of additional healing to the specific abortion healing ministry recommended by the church.
Examples include: Promoting/advertising to women in the church about women’s groups on topics such as dating, marriage, family, fertility, reproductive loss, reconciliation with loved ones, and mental health provide the “shallow entry points” mentioned above. A process for how the topic of abortion healing might be introduced naturally, after women are comfortable with their group, should be determined by leaders prior to promoting these groups.
Description of the Ideal Center: A resort-like retreat center located in a natural setting near water (river, lake, sea, ocean) decorated in pastel colors with a design focus on comfort, hominess, and brightness, through lots of windows and easy access to the outdoors. Plants and flowers abound. Soft nature sounds or soft music is often heard and the pleasant aroma of lightly fragrant candles is present. Several rooms are designed for group discussion of 4-6 people and one larger room with space for up to 20, along with a few smaller, yet still very comfortable, rooms designed for individual counseling. On site are either a chapel or private places (indoor and outdoor) where women and men can go to pray alone or together, if they are there together to heal from an abortion. Additional rooms are specifically designed or set aside to allow for journaling/writing, art activities, team building/relationship building. Eating/drinking/snacking communally is encouraged throughout the center. Everything about the center exudes welcome, invitation, comfort, hope, healing, empowerment, positivity, nonjudgment. It is a location set up to help attendees deal with regret and reduce loneliness, sadness, anger, grief, and guilt with the ultimate goal of healing mentally, psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually. This is necessary for them to move forward and find new life on the other side of pain that has been locked away and compartmentalized, sometimes for decades. Attendees will meet and learn the stories of others who are there who have also experienced abortion. Similarly, the counselors are those who have suffered from past abortions, experienced healing, and are here to help others do the same. The counselors are all female, unless men are in attendance for healing, in which case there are a small number of male counselors. Psychologists, therapists, and spiritual counselors are also available as needed. The usual stay at the center is either one weekend or one week.
Names: Suggested names (or marketing terms) for abortion healing centers reveal the importance of healing, peace and acceptance:
Healing Heart, Healing Place, A Place of Healing, Strong-Capable-Healed, Healing Women
Finding Wisdom, Finding Peace, At Peace, Safe Space, Safe Circle, Not Alone, Everyone’s Welcome, We’re Here for You, Here to Listen
Women’s Health and Services, Women’s Choices, Women’s Retreat Center, Girl Code
Support Group for Abortion Grief, Hope Without Grief
Deep Breath, Just Breathe
Fortitude, Rebuilding Strength
Divine Destiny, Gathering Tree, Truth, Fresh Start, Open Hands, Your Voice
Messaging Ideas: Women also describe the messaging approaches that would make it more likely they would respond positively toward an invitation to seek healing for abortion. They include possibly offering closed social media groups to join as an initial step, requiring less commitment and an opportunity to simply look into the idea of healing. Also on social media, they suggest TikTok or Instagram videos about what abortion healing (or a healing ministry/program) might look like: what it entails, the goal, and the benefits. The other digital messaging approach they’d welcome would be pop up ads (“abortion healing”, “abortion help”, “healing from abortion” connected to searches for other women’s health topics, especially related to mental health or women’s health search terms.
Women also suggested an abortion healing listing on health insurance apps (like UnitedHealthcare). Abortion healing ministries could be listed as a subcategory under mental health (along with therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, adolescent counseling, etc.)
Women suggest the videos on social media could be developed into commercials for streaming TV services. They believe that the ads should show women of all different shape, size, color, and be filled with peace, hope, acceptance, and love.
Many women would respond best (or only) to a message about abortion healing through an invitation from a close friend or family member who has gone through a healing program and would recommend it. This could be done through systematically sending out women who have found benefit from their abortion healing experiences to their communities.
Women say that abortion healing advertisements need to be increased in the following places: gynecology offices or other doctors’ offices, church bulletins and newsletters, billboards and even in the waiting room or “after abortion care”/recovery instructions pages at abortion facilities (many women talk about the immediate guilt and need for prompt counseling after the abortion).
Finally, weaving natural elements into marketing materials is important (see comments below regarding the ideal abortion healing center) and can be done subtly or directly but should be incorporated in some way to capture the attention and interest of women hurting from abortion.